I'm pretty certain that if you're reading this you have experienced heartbreak and pain, a longing for the relationship you wish you had, and at least one interaction where you were misunderstood or misunderstood someone else. The reality of life is that relationships are complicated.
We all bring unique perspectives, experiences and understanding to each and every relationship whether it is with a lover or a friend. And it is damn hard to navigate your feelings and outlook on life along with someone else's feelings and ideas without some good communication tools and skills.
The frustrating thing is that for most people, the tools and skills our parents or family of origin equipped us with are sometimes not the full toolkit we need to build the relationship of our dreams.
SO WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?
Well, here is my 2 cents worth of solutions and ideas.
Accept that you're not perfect. And that's okay. You're human, not a stepford wife. If you are doing your best, then that's your best. And that's enough. There is of course always room to grow but right now you are where you are and that's okay.
Learn. Take initiative to learn about you and work on the things you don't love. We have an amazing ability to grow, change and adapt to new things. We are also complex and multi faceted and what works in one season of life, doesn't work in another. Figure out who you are, what makes you happy, what pushes your buttons, and then make peace with yourself. You'll end up much happier in the long run when you take ownership of your own happiness within a relationship then relying on someone else to provide it for you.
Try again. And again. And again. The thing about the learning process is that trying and failing happen. You can't avoid them if you want to grow. So embrace them. Go on the date, try something new in bed with your partner, wear the dress or shoes you don't usually wear, just go for it. And if it doesn't work try again or try something else. No where in the rule book of life, does it say you have to remain stagnate. Break out of old habits, go after your goals, be the you that you love. Just be willing to take the effort to get there by showing up again, and again, and again.
And while relationships require work and effort and are frustrating and exhausting, they are glorious, life giving, soul fulfilling and make our days walking this planet so worth while. So please, if this Valentine's day has you feeling the icky poo's in your tum tum, take a deep breath, put on your big girl pants and try again. We have faith in you.
with love and flowers,
Chloe & the PP Squad
*📷bySarah Nolter onUnsplash